The Word of God tells us that we are to "cast all our care on Him," "to be anxious for nothing." (1 Pt 5:7; Ph 4:6)
No matter how long I have been a Christian, I still struggle with this. Tonight, I am restless with overwhelming anxiety.
The recent events in our nation have brought me to a place of desperation, worry, anger and sadness.
I am sick of people only valuing their own life and not every life. I don't care if you are black, red, white, green, yellow, blue or the Koolaid man, your life is just as precious as mine. Our Creator doesn't see with the eyes we see. He doesn't look on the outside, but at our hearts. (1 Sam 16:7)
Forgive me for the gross analogy here, but if we had a line of hearts, as in the actual organ, you wouldn't be able tell who it belonged to.
Our circumstances, environment, family genes, etc all help determine what our bodies look like. Remove that outer shell and we are the same. The differences are when we will choose to see each other according to the standard by which God does. The heart affected by sin.
Our sinfulness makes our hearts cold, dark, evil. It is ONLY His cleansing blood that changes that.
Tonight, I battle. I rage within my heart over the mixed emotions, sinful and not. I am sick to death of the grip our enemy has on this world and the intensity of sin that grows worse daily.
I am angry at the loss of common sense, moral standard, conviction of right and wrong. What happened to obeying? Where did respect for authority go?
I realize that there is abuse of power, and that certainly should be addressed. This abuse does NOT give anyone the right to bring about justice according to their own rational.
Why is it needed to destroy lives and families for an agenda? Is your "cause" really so unjust that it warrants unneeded deaths and tragedy? STOP!
It is extremely hard for me to have compassion. I admit that. Our sinfulness as a human race has veered so far from God's truth that we (as a whole) no longer know where the line is drawn!
How grieved I am at the lack of freedom and safety my children will have as they grow. A "Land of the Free" is slowly becoming a "Land of MY way or else!". It isn't just our country. It is a worldwide epidemic We are losing touch with reality and replacing it with a utopia that is impossible to achieve! You CANNOT have peace without boundaries, discipline, expectations. There is NO such thing as something for everyone, that we get everything we want! It wasn't and still isn't God's design.
We are not better than God, we can't even be compared, nor do we have better plans than He. Our ways are NOT His! Our plans lead to destruction when we are determined to go our own way without God. We are not guaranteed success if we ask Him to come along, but we are more apt to being open for His leading when we seek HIM FIRST!!! (Is 55:8; Matt 6:33)
I have never hoped so hard for discipline in our world as I do now. When will you intervene? I know you see this! I know you are there! I am no-one to question your judgement, your power, your plan. I know that we are right where you knew we would be, but it is so painful! It is so sad. It is so relentless.
I know my wrestling is part of this process. It is part of the pruning you are doing in my own life. I don't like it. I don't like watching your creation deteriorate. I know the end of the story, and this is necessary for Your VICTORY , but...
Tonight it is too much. I am BEYOND WORDS to resolve the battle that is raging. I hate what I see. I am sorry that I am in this place. I plead for your sufficient grace and mercy.