Sunday, May 15, 2016

Son, I wrote this for you.

Today is a big day. My little man who has delighted, challenged, taught, loved, and accepted this imperfect mom...

He is 18 today. Legally considered for voting,  buying lottery tickets and eligible for the draft.

In my mind, he is 2. Jumping on the furniture and yelling like Tarzan at the top of his lungs.

In my heart, he is the 6 year old holding his sister for the first time vowing to love her always and be there to protect her when she gets older. Making her laugh, holding her when she cries and kissing her boo-boos when she was learning to walk.

My eyes see a young man who is begging to grow up and be independent.  A tug of war between wanting that independence and not willing to let go, for either of us.  

He wasn't little for very long.  No matter how many promises he made, he just couldn't fulfill the impossible...

Slow down and don't grow so fast.

Ben, I wrote this for you.  

I can't begin to tell you
Just how loved you are
I can't believe how time flew by
Proud of who you are today

Forgive me when I stop and stare
When tears fall from my eyes
It went by so quickly
As if it snuck up from behind

I wanted you to stay small
To always be my little man
You said, "I have to grown up,
but I will try if I can."

Now hear you are today
A tall and handsome young man
Strong-willed & determined
Eager to spread your wings 
Eager to pursue your own plan

I look through all our memories
Pictures you drew, notes and cards too
I recall your quips and humor
Unique, sweet son! My joy, that's you!

I have no doubt in my heart
that you will succeed
Your future holds so much
By God's design- HE is all you need!

You've always been so gentle;
loving, sweet and smart.
Your killer eyes, your smile
A contagious laugh,
With dimples to melt my heart! 

NO matter where life leads you,
No matter what you do,
I am your biggest fan and
I will be forever here for you.

I love you, son.