Wednesday, February 24, 2016

A Journey Begins with One Step.

2 But they delight in the law of the Lord,
    meditating on it day and night.
3 They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
    bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither,
    and they prosper in all they do.  (Psalms 1:2-3)

I have been searching these last couple weeks.  I am looking for wisdom on how to navigate through the season of life I am in.

The most common theme has been to simply own it.  This is not a disease, a weakness or even punishment.  It is a place of unknown; rest maybe; redefining and thankfulness.  Who am I?  What is my purpose? Where do I go from here and what does the end result look like?

It is true, that some people take a "mid-life crisis" as an opportunity to do crazy things.  

“Mid-life can be the most productive—or destructive—years of your life.”

Midlife can be a time of self-doubt and disappointments that can lead to irrational thinking, impetuous purchases and irresponsible relationships.

But this crisis can also be an immensely productive time as well, a time when people refocus their priorities and exchange old desires with new dreams. During this time of crisis you can come into a deeper knowledge of who you are and what your relationship with God can be.

In fact, a midlife crisis may be a God-produced event designed to shake you out of your comfort zone so that you might achieve the highest purpose for which you were created. 
(by June Hunt,

God is patient.  Faithful.  Slow, but timely.  It is HIS perfect way.  

I began a bible study digging into the pain of your past.  It is designed to face the sins you have committed that lead to where you are in life.  It also forces you to face the pain others have caused in your life because of their choices and sin against you.

I think there is a place for this.  For my journey, though, there was something that kept nagging at me.  The study itself was superficial and elementary. There were places that caused me to question the biblical implications.  Something was missing. I was looking for deep study, the meat of God's word.  I was hoping to find truth and the place God is moving me toward.  This study wasn't getting to the right spot and I just felt let down.

Determined to keep trying, I sat down to work on the next lesson.  As red flags were popping up everywhere over context and application, I simply stopped.  I told the Lord I was stuck.  I desperately wanted to hear His voice, see His hand and know His truth.  I just couldn't seem to find it in the places I was looking.  

God reminded me at that moment...
"Forget the former things...I am doing a new thing!" (Isaiah 43:18)  It is time to move on.  Let everything that hinders you to fall aside and press one toward the goal.  (Hebrews 12:1-2)

It doesn't mean that the past is not important.  It has a role to play, but those things don't define me. I have learned many hard lessons from my own choices,  and can extend compassion to others who experience the same kind of hurts caused by someone else. 

I talked before how I wore the past like a scarlet letter.  When Christ paid the debts I owed, AND the debts others owed, He removed that letter.  He replaced it with a testimony of His goodness, mercy and love.  I am under His grace.  I can be thankful for those times. Places of protection, comfort and discipline.  God has never left me to fend for myself. 

I don't want to be defined by my past. God doesn't see me that way. (Micah 7:18-19)

 I am a daughter of the King.  That is who I am. (I John 3:1)

Proverbs 27:19 says, " As a face is reflected in water, so a heart reflects the real person." 

The person I want my heart to reflect is the one God sees in me. 

That is where I believe my "mid-life crisis" has me.  It's a place to redefine my reflection. Move forward to the place God needs me. His purpose moving through me to accomplish His glory.

Practically, this means that I deal with just today.  The future is only know to God. The past is unchangeable.  

I can't change the places I have been.  I can't change the choices that I have made.  I can't do anything to change the future.  I can trust You.  I can seek you diligently, with ALL my heart.  I can press into You and stay connect just as a tree is firmly planted along the river.  You are the River of Life and I can only gain the strength I need from your living water.  Thank you for the encouragement through your word. Please keep me from being anxious about the future.  This is a place You have brought me. I trust You to sustain me as you did for Elijah in the desert.  One day at a time, until a time when You will reveal the place I must go.  Thank you for my friendships, the family I serve, and the hope, the promise I have in You that you will complete what You start.  

In Jesus name,