Yeah, I had one of those days. It seemed like I would take a step forward and fall. I picked myself up, dust off and start over only to fall again. It was the kind of day that I wish my words were tangible. I wanted to grab everything I said and throw it away. I felt defeated.
That day, the enemy reminded me of how many times I fail to make the right choice. My defenses rose, but seemed useless again the vile memories. Not everything was because of my choice, many were choices others made that cut deep. There were places and times in my life that I had long forgotten, suddenly I remembered like it was yesterday.
What a failure, I thought. There is nothing I can do to fix those places. I can't fill the holes that have been left. I picked up every burden and threw it on my shoulders.
The Lord would whisper to me...
"Do you see I am doing a new thing?"
Isaiah 43:18-20 (NLT)
My heart cried out NO! Lord, I don't see it. I see a trail of regret. I see my own inadequacy to be Your daughter. I am not good enough.
Oh, how hard it is to be that honest. Maybe those thoughts resonate with you. You see, it wasn't a bad day. Nothing horrible happened. I just felt stupid. Yet, it could have been the very thing I needed that would allow God to reach another place in me. Belonging to the King doesn't make me perfect. I am FAR from that. BUT! I am redeemed. Christ bore the ultimate burden for me, personally, so that the weight of the world I would carry on my shoulders would be HIS to carry. He did the very same for you.
Christ died ONCE for ALL! We are all frail and fall short of what is needed to be in God's grace. With Christ's blood, we are redeemed. God's grace can't be earned or taken away.
I was watching a Tyler Perry movie the other night. Madea was having a conversation about scripture with her niece. She said that Christians need to know the "prescriptions and where to apply those prescriptions." It was funny, but I loved the parallel. God's word is just that.
I have many notes taped in my bible. One of those notes is from an old friend who regularly prayed for me during a really hard time of my life. Her note to me referenced the above "prescription." This scripture has meant so much to me through the years and still does.
When I went to look up the scripture, I notice that her note was actually taped to a different page. I believe it was there on purpose. Skip over to Isaiah 55.
Isaiah 55: 9-13
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." Philippians 1:6
It doesn't mean we are stuck there. Thankfully, He loves us enough to meet us where we are. Yet He encourages, teaches, and sometimes pushes us to grow. It isn't easy to grow, but it is for our good, and brings glory to Him! It is his masterpiece. His mercies are new every morning. At the end of the day, I want my life to reflect His glory. I don't need the burdens I carry, He already took those from me. Now, I need to believe. That is my choice. It is the right "prescription" for me today.